Grumpy Gills?

 Perhaps I am the "grumpy gills" I often assume I am. Perhaps others do not get overstimulated or have their nerves grated by the same, or similar things, as I do. Perhaps. Although, perhaps not.

Today was a marvelous day. The printer upstairs was fixed and worked the entire day. The sun is out. Students worked in their book clubs, most completed the assignment necessary and thus, were able to have really productive conversations. I actively chose to focus on the positives. I could have easily focused on the group of boys, the two girls, or the entire class plus a guest who were not prepared, left their groups, and were overall rain clouds on an otherwise perfectly sunny day. Instead, I leaned in to the group discussions, entered into their ideas of conflict, prodded individual minds to dive a little deeper than a two word quote with no context. On top of that, I even left work on time *gasp*! Today was a marvelous day.

Upon my arrival home, there was a spot open to charge the car, the marvelousness continues! I head up in the elevator straight to our floor, yessss! I unpack my lunchbox, assemble a new meal and snacks for tomorrow, and chat briefly with Josh about our days. The goal is to head outside to one of the two floors with outside areas. Since the wind is starting to pick up, I chose the lower of the two floors. I packed up my drink, snack, headphones, laptop, phone, and key and headed to the floor. 

When I stepped outside, I was met with the smell of cooking meat. I looked toward the grills and saw what I interpreted to be a family: Dad grilling and Mom corralling the three children. I move to sit on the far end of the area, next to the pool and definitely away from the family's dinner. There is music blasting, but I have my headphones and my phone, so that problem is solved.

I sit down to browse some Slices before typing my own as I am sorely lacking for inspiration. After a perusing and commenting on a few, I sense movement around me. Strange, as I am not by a door and would have seen someone strolling across the space. As I turn my head toward what I assume will be a spectre, I am met with three children under 10 staring at me from less than three feet away. 

Immediately after, I truly do not know how this happened so quickly, I heard loud music getting closer and closer. I use sound-cancelling headphones, so this was pretty loud. Three streaks of childhood rush past me. They are dodging seats, running around the bocce and corn hole areas, through the plants/landscaping, there's some serious energy here. Next, they have one of their adults' keys so they are playing in and out of the pool house. One stands in the pool house and the other one runs to the other end of the patio some thirty plus feet away and yells at the one in the pool house to "Say it LOUDER!" and they try to guess what the other is saying. That lasted for a few short minutes, then we moved onto playing in the seating area directly in front of me and running directly behind me. Then, we head back to playing in and out of the pool house. One of the children who does not have the keys to fob into the pool house has begun to pull on the door handle, using her foot against the door for leverage. Younger brother was upset he was being left out of the pool house, so Dad gave him his fob to use.

Oh yes, Dad and Mom are here while their children are running, screaming, climbing, "accidentally" flipping furniture, etc. across the patio. What are they doing you ask? Relaxing on their phones at the opposite end of the space from their children. Now, I know what some of you are thinking, parents deserve to relax too! Absolutely, I agree! Also, three kids under 10 in one two bedroom apartment (beyond the legal issues) must be stressful to be cooped up, they need to burn off some steam! Also, agreed!

So, what's my problem? This is a pattern. Maybe not for this family, but a pattern nonetheless. The more spring springs, the more people come out of their homes. This means there will be more families where allowing their children to run rampant is commonplace. These type of parents assume a space is safe, as they should be able to, and that if anything happens to their child, someone will come find them. We frequent breweries, wineries, museums, local shops and cafes, and other places small hands could cause big damage or be irreparably damaged themselves.

I do not, of course, blame children when this occurs. That would be ludicrous. For me, there is a difference between parents juggling tasks and children or those who are perhaps momentarily distracted by one dilemma while a new dilemma explodes versus parents who seem content to let the patrons of a business babysit.

THAT is why I'm a grumpy gills this afternoon. My nerves were grated by my lenses of perceived shrugging of responsibility. Children will be children, they need to blow off steam, so they run and play and find ways to entertain themselves. I should focus on their laughter and creativity, but the rain clouds of those who are responsible for their safety keep blocking my light. The sun is beautiful, the wind relaxing, the temperature perfection. I will find a way to be less grumpy.