Skip to main content

It's Okay to be Too Much (aka yourself)

*The original version of this post used timestamps, summaries, and direct quotes from the family group chat. My anxiety got to me, so here is a summary*

 To provide two pieces of context for today's slice: I have caused my parents/sister worry and concern about my "appropriateness" since I learned to talk and had opinions 😂. Also, yesterday, I sent a text in the family group chat showing a shirt I wore to work that said "Read Banned Books" to kick off "Read Across America" week (cue the concern).

Today, I sent a picture in the family group chat of me wearing a "Reading Rainbow" t-shirt and a statement that while I did not have enough shirts to go all week, that was okay (otherwise, I'd end up with shirt deliveries, links, or Facebook messages out the wazoo!). My sister, who did not engage with the "Read Banned Books" of yesterday, responded to say it looked cute. I cracked a joke about hoping it encouraged my 8th graders to read the sources they were practicing determining credibility with, but that went unanswered. Hours later, Mom questioned how yesterday's "political" shirt went over with my colleagues and Dad congratulated me on keeping my job despite wearing said shirt. I replied that the shirt was more a statement on censorship and restriction to information, rather than a particular political jab. I then followed up with a link to the federal legislation that has been introduced for a national book ban to "protect children" from anything that might make their worldview a little more inclusive (my summary of the Act). Crickets could be heard for miles around in response to that. Hours on from that, my sister shared the results of my niece's IQ/Cognitive tests. This was a surprise as I was unaware she had been tested, or that results were received. She scored very well, and many related comments ensued.

I recognize that it is easier to discuss something that is concrete, numbers, rankings. Something that is relevant to your life and situation. That's not how we engage with this complex, forever in flux, world. That is not the only kind of conversations we should be having with loved ones or those around us. It used to bother me when I felt like I shared a piece of myself and it was disregarded by others. Especially, when I felt like I had something good to share, something to connect over. I have grown and come to realize that it is more a reflection of the person you are sharing with than on yourself whether they are able to embrace what you have given. The search for validation was a long one, perhaps almost an unrequited one. As I grow into whoever I will be in this next cycle of life, I become more confident in myself. I learn how to gather those who lift each other up around me and quiet the voices that used to be so loud in my head. Some days I move forward and some days I lose ground in that battle. Progress over perfection is what my next t-shirt will say 🦋 

Comments

  1. Glenda FunkMarch 4, 2026 at 12:03 AM

    Keep wearing those shirts! I’d love to sponsor one for you (i.e. pay for one) because I love this couture act of rebellion and standing up for readers and books. Many of us have family members like yours. It isn’t easy to take their nonsense. BTW, I’m serious about that shirt. Let me know. I can email you for your Venmo info.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MschiubookaMarch 4, 2026 at 7:24 PM

    I, for one, loved your Banned Books shirt, and today’s Reading Rainbow one just brought so much nostalgia and joy. Your reflection resonates- “I learn how to gather those who lift each other up around me and quiet the voices that used to be so loud in my head.” Keep writing, my friend!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Season of Change

The car turns on. My phone connects. I reverse out of my parking spot and begin the long drive home. I have time to reflect on the day and the choices I made. I get to do this at my own speed, uninterrupted in the quiet, with only my podcast to listen to.  The mental load begins to lift as the snow drifts down. This snow will not stick, even though it is covering the grass. This snow will melt and life will continue as we know it. It is the same with the worries and concerns from the day. They too will melt and life will continue as we know it. This snow feels like a reminder, or maybe that's how I'm choosing to see the world, that everything has its season. So too, do 8th graders have seasons. I'm not sure what this one is yet, but I am living for it day by day. As the windshield wipers remove the wet, the view clears again. Focus is important, but too much focus can blind us to other possibilities. I realize, as I pull into the garage that I feel lighter. I made a choice ...
8 comments
Read more

Outside the Norm, Inside the Joy

 Today, I had both "levels" of 8th graders. While both were working with the same set of images, one group was focusing on the details and the imagery while another was deciding whether an image would go at the beginning, middle, or end of a story. What I had not expected on this cold, blustery Tuesday was to be blown away  by student engagement! 4th hour is usually quiet  silent. They wait until pressed and even then, pulling teeth is a more viable option. Today? We were yelling out answers, making each other laugh, and asking fantastic questions. They were almost unrecognizable! 5th period are talkers. Too many friends in one room can lead to chaos. Not today! Today, we were engaged. We wanted  to know about the images, about the artists, about the reasons for the creation of the paintings. They used the iPads appropriately to see the images' specific details and features and make inferences based on what was presented. They talked to  each other and discussed...
3 comments
Read more

The Performance Review

 Today being the first of the month, I sat down with my notebook to give myself my monthly "Performance Review": did I meet my goals? What went well? What needs to change? How am I going to incorporate those changes? Did I complete my to do lists efficiently? February is the shortest month, but when your mind and body feel unregulated all of the days blur together like one, big, looming disaster. Upon looking at the various trackers and notes to myself I had left on the pages, I noticed a distinct, almost two full weeks, blank space in every one of them. While I could certainly blame going out of town, I took my notebook with me. I took my regulating systems with me. Maybe I could look to other areas to shift my blame? No. This is a year of accountability. Of learning not to simply survive, but thrive alongside my neurodivergence. I reviewed each page with intention, mentally noted each misstep that led to a bigger lapse that led to the ultimate breakdown of systems and patte...
5 comments
Read more