Reflections on Doing the Best We Can

With International Women's Day being yesterday, the idea of womanhood has been on my mind. You see, I've always been a little "rough around the edges" or bordering on "unladylike behavior". I was lucky enough to have friends that didn't seem to mind, even when others made it a life goal to "fix" me.

In years past, I have posted the same quote to social media for International Women's Day: "Here's to strong women: May we know them, may we be them, may we raise them." Then, I would go further to shout out the women in my family for their strength. This year though, was different.

The Thursday prior, I attended a Zoom get together of women, where the topic was about the women who support us, uplift us, steady us, etc. While a few women shared about their mothers, sisters, or best friends, many more of us sat with the question for longer. Who were the women in my life I considered strong, supportive, or steady? Am I someone my friends think of as strong, supportive, or steady? How do I support, uplift, or steady other women? Make no mistake, I think most women do the best they can with the information they have. Growing up a Millennial child of Baby Boomers was an interesting dynamic we're still unpacking :) My grandparents wouldn't have been here (and thus I would not be here) without strong women immigrating and raising them. At this point, I think we understand that the past laid plans don't always work out the way we want them to. As Wallace Stegner's The Spectator Bird says: The lessons of life amount not to wisdom, but to scar tissue and callus.

The longer I sat with the question, the more blank my mind became. Later, I was able to identify several women in my life who stand in front of me, beside me, and behind me. I had been listening to Michelle Obama's podcast with her brother (IMO) and she speaks about her "kitchen table" of friends. I wonder how much damage has been done to women's ability to be "girl's girls" by the early 2000s media, heck, by the current media. I wonder how social media plays into the idea of a "kitchen table" without actually giving us the "kitchen table". A goal I have for next school year is to build a more solid classroom community. My students are pretty good this year, but I feel like there is more to do and more that can be done. I've got a lot of thoughts and plans on this, but in short, I hope you have someone in your corner that gets you, warts and all.